Bloody Devil #15
Except, in the case of Patsy Hewitt we have had to relax the rules somewhat, as there are no insults too gratuitous for that sack of shit.
That's right, Bloody Devil #15 is awarded to Dr Rant—a fine blog whose Cluedoid contributors have been slamming into the government, and particularly the fuckwits runnning the NHS, with a great, big, shiny fission reactor of rage for some time now—for the post entitled Thanks for our 'best ever year'. Here's your P45, now fuck off.
It's an auspicious title, and the text does not disappoint.
Progress my fucking arse. What a monstrous pile of twat.
Patsy is an utter gobshite. She is a soulless, vapid, harridan of a woman, with neither wit nor guile, who, as Secretary of State for Trade and Industry, destroyed what was left of the British Car industry. Now, as Secretary of State for Health, she is destroying what is left of the National Health Service. She has been massively over-promoted. Even her colleagues think that she is 'out of her depth'. She thinks that progress is determined by a reduced number of beds. Doctors and nurses know that a bed reduction means that your post-operative patient is going to be lying 36 inches away from an MRSA+ve dement who is covered in shit.
Dr Rant has a better suggestion. Rather than put 11,000 NHS employees out of work, why not just giver Patricia Hewitt her P45? Better still, why not sack all 419 members of the corrupt, lying government, and stop their underhand destruction of what is left of the health service.
Do go and read the whole thing: it's quite, quite beautiful. Even if the NHS has not had its best year ever—but, seriously, who could possibly doubt darling Patsy's word?—our perfidious, clueless cunt of a Health Minister has provided more than enough inspiration for some of the blogosphere's first class swearblogger fiskings (even if I do say so myself).
Here's a few reminders of past glories, all of which plumb new nadirs of decency and taste, for you all to enjoy.
- Mr Eugenides: "feed Patsy into the whirling propellers of a DC-3."
- Mr Eugenides: "weld Patsy's head into a car door."
- Mr Eugenides: "Patsy, Polly and a nailgun—too much fun!"
- Mr Eugenides: "Patsy Hewitt + rusty saw + bucketful of plague rats = better world."
- DK: "Patsy Hewitt: terminally stupid."
- DK: "Patsy still a fucking retard."
- DK: "Patsy forced to drink until eyelids ripped off."
And neither of us are doctors, nor do we even work anywhere in the NHS: just imagine what the rest of them feel like. Although, come to think of it, they probably feel a bit like Dr Rant, I suspect...