Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Batshit safe!

I've always felt sorry for David Miliband*; indeed, I also feel admiration for him.

No, wait: here me out, here!

As I said, I've always felt sorry for Davey; he has manfully, bravely struggled to see more useless fucking windfarms erected in this country—so that our grandchildrens' grandchildren will not drown and fry—even though he knew that they were going to kill hundreds of the "17 species of bat in the UK" which make up the great bulk of his friends.

Such selflessness made one feel so... humbled. You know?

But now there is good news for the little swine brave Davey.
Bats at risk of being killed by the growing number of wind farms could be saved with the use of radars.

Bat deaths at wind farms are thought to exceed those of birds and it is feared some species could eventually become endangered if action is not taken.

Now researchers at Aberdeen University believe radar may be key.

They studied the behaviour of bats at radar installations and found they did not forage where electromagnetic radiation could be measured.

Bat experts Prof Paul Racey and Dr Barry Nicholls studied bats at various distances from 10 radar installations across Scotland.

They said they found bats foraged where no radiation was detectable.

Prof Racey, of Aberdeen's school of biological sciences, said: "We found that the bats were deterred by the electromagnetic radiation emitted from the radar installations.

"This raises the possibility that radar could be used to deter bats from approaching wind turbines.

"And so far this would appear to be the only real possibility of preventing bats colliding with turbine blades worldwide."

Good news for the bats, good news for our fragile bat biodiversity, and really excellent news for David Miliband.

Congratulations, Batshit: your friends have been saved by the miracle of modern technology! If only modern technology could save us humans rather than our having to rely on mediaeval fucking crap like bastard windmills...


* And not just because he is a slimy, four-eyed git who obviously had his head flushed down the toilet as the culmination of frequent beatings-up at school.

3 comments:

Amir said...

I love bats, especially microbats. Many of em’ migrate, with some bats leading a solitary life and others living in caves colonized by millions of “foreign” microbats (fucking immigrants). They also carry rabies, SARS, Henipavirus (Nipah virus and Hendra virus), West Nile virus and the ebola virus. Consequently, I would relish the opportunity to shove a bunch of virus-ridden microbats up David Milidick’s Japs eye. Thereafter I will urge the bats to bite his inner-cock-meat and thereupon spread a life-threatening germ.

David Millidick is a proper cunt. A slimy cunt; a nasty cunt.
LET HIM DIE BY BAT-UP-JAPS-EYE!

Anonymous said...

Having had to read some of Dave and Ed's dad’s writings on Marxism, for a politics course, I think it is good they came out as well as they did.

Pogo said...

Interesting theory... But, has anyone bothered to check just how much electricity these "radar installations" consume? It'd be rather a waste of time if most of the juice generated by ye windemilles is needed to run the radar necessary to prevent mass batticide. A tad of reductio ad absurdam suggests that in times of low wind speed when the turbines would be spinning but generating very little, if any, electricity the bloody things would still need power to run their radars and thus end up as net power consumers. :-)