Tuesday, February 06, 2007

John Reid is really fucking stupid

Seriously, what the fuck is this shit? Have the government lost their tiny minds? I mean, I know that the vast majority of these people will not be tech wizards, but surely they must have some inkling of how it works? Surely...
Sex offenders could be forced to register their e-mail addresses and chatroom names, the government says.

Home Secretary John Reid said he may make paedophiles put online identity details on the Sex Offenders Register.

Aaaaahahahahahahahahaha! For crying out loud, is he serious? Dear fucking god, has he no idea how the 'net works? Unless, of course, these totalitarian bastards are about to try to make it illegal to have more than pne email address; it wouldn't surprise me if they tried it, actually. And then we can have our email address on our ID Cards, eh?
Mechanisms would be set up to "flag up" approaches by them to sites popular among youngsters, he told the BBC.

Ah yes, those omnipotent, omniscient "mechanisms" which always remain strangely undefined...
One computer expert said this was a step in the right direction, but added internet identities could be changed "in a matter of seconds".

Well, quite. That is rather the point, isn't it?
Mr Reid said: "We already have probably the toughest regime in Europe for identifying sex offenders.

"But although we are strong, we have to keep ahead of the game and I want to bring in stronger, broader powers to protect our children."

In other words, "We are pretty fucking illiberal, but not illiberal enough.

"God forbid that the parents should look after their children; the state, like some kind of lumbering totalitarian superhero, is here to save everyone from everything ever.

"We just need to have total power in order to protect you all. Luckily, as soon as this bird flu thing catches on, we'll be able to declare martial law, oh yes we will. I think that you'll find that we put that legislation through some time ago."

(That last paragraph is true, by the way; if the bird flu looked like being another foot and mouth disaster, the government could declare effective martial law.)
He told the BBC: "If we did that we would then be able to set up mechanisms that would flag up anyone using those addresses or those identities to make approaches and contacts through some of the very popular internet spaces which are used by kids."

Um, can I just ask you, John: where the cunting fuck are the bastard parents, pray?
Cliff Saran, technology editor of Computer Weekly, told the BBC News website: "I have about five e-mail addresses. It's easy to set up a new one in seconds... it's going to be hard to track that."

The same applied to chatrooms and networks like MSN, he added - "Come up with a suitable name, and off you go."

Unless, of course, the government were to force everyone to register there addresses and then they could license new email addresses. Come on, they're going to try: you know they will...
If everyone had a single internet identity for life, like a National Insurance number, this would make it far easier to track people, he said.

You see? For fuck's sake...
Child internet safety expert John Carr, of children's charity NCH, said: "This is a very welcome move.

"It will mean that we can extend the Sex Offenders Register regime into cyberspace and that will be a great comfort to many people."

Yes, it will be a great comfort to all of those parents who cannot be arsed actually to do any parenting.

Look, why don't we just lock the kids in Polly's State Podding HutchesTM and have done with it, eh?
Under present rules, sex offenders must list their name and address on the Sex Offenders Register for a period of years after conviction or even for the rest of their lives.

However, they continue to find a way around the existing system.

There are times when I am tempted to say, "Good for them." I find it profoundly wrong that the government can continue to track and control your movements for the rest of your life.
Last month newspaper reports said police forces across the UK had lost track of 322 convicted sex offenders. The News of the World claimed one paedophile who had breached register conditions had given his address as "woods" after moving from "a tent near Guildford leisure centre".

Yes, we know that the state is shit at running things; why should this new useless joke policy formed by John Reid plucking some shit out of the air system be any different?
The latest proposal means their online identities would be treated in exactly the same way as their real name, a Home Office spokesman said.

"The home secretary also wants to look at whether it is technologically feasible to set up a system where if someone enters a chatroom with an identity that was already listed on the register, it would 'ping' an alert on the relevant people's computers, enabling them to take appropriate action," he added.

Yes, it is entirely feasible to set up such a system. Whether it would work, given the feckless, useless nature of many public-sector workers (I'm just saying "Victoria Climbie", that's all. Incidentally, that social worker's still in a job, isn't she?), is entirely another matter.

"Quick, Mr Dangerous Paedophile's talking to a rather attractive thirteen year old on myspace! Let's go, go, go!"

"Nah, can't, Reg. We have to have our union-timetabled tea break now."

"Good point. It can wait..."
Failure to divulge all the information required could lead to a jail term of up to five years.

Uh-huh. Sorry, but given that you haven't got any places left, which jail, precisely, will these people be kept in, you thick fucks?
Prof Allyson MacVean, director of the John Grieve Centre for Policing and Community Safety at London's Metropolitan University, welcomed the move but said police should be able to search sex offenders' homes and computers.

Oh, yeah; fan-fucking-tastic! You've served your time on jail, had the shit kicked out of you repeatedly and finally you are free! You have repaid your debt to society and you are determined never to transgress again.

Oh, no; sorry, sunshine. Next thing you know, the door's being kicked in by armed police, and John Reid comes striding in and the police are turning your home upside down and confiscating your computer.
"Internet addresses are so easy to make up and it doesn't give any sense of who the person is or where their location is," she told the BBC, "which is why the police do need to have access to their computers without them needing to go and apply for a warrant."

EDIT: on 6th February 2009, your humble Devil received an email from Allyson MacVean, threatening to sue him for "defamation". Your humble Devil, having sought legal advice, believes that everything that he wrote about Ms MacVean was quite clearly fair comment. However, not having deep pockets, your humble Devil has decided to restate the case in less inflammatory tones, as per the two paragraphs below.

I genuinely think that anyone who wants the police to be able to break into an innocent person's home without having to present prima facie evidence before a judge is, in fact, directly encouraging a police state. After all, if the police are able to bypass the law at any time, this is, surely, almost the very definition of a police state.

And this authoritarian measure is, it seems, what Allyson MacVean is lobbying for (unless, of course, she has been misquoted?). Needless to say, your humble Devil views anyone who advocates that a police force should be able to invade a person's home and lock said person up—without having to produce a shred of evidence of wrong-doing—to be deeply illiberal.

Yes, yes: we all know that it will only be for paedos, but picking out minorities and persecuting them is what totalitarian states are so very good at—just ask the Jews, gays and cripples of Nazi Germany (or Stalinist Russia, for that matter).
Tuesday's announcement coincides with Safer Internet Day, a worldwide event, organised by European Schoolnet, intended to raise awareness among parents, teachers and young people of the risks associated with use of the net.

Events are being held in 31 nations and a blogathon will record activities held as far apart as Australia and Canada.

For fuck's sake...

18 comments:

Neal Asher said...

It's more of the same: more excuses for regulation, control, bureaucracy, taxes ... totalitarianism. As one of the guys on that program 'Grumpy Old Men' said: "I'm waiting for the time when I have to wait for permission from a government official to take my first shit in the morning." And quite likely when that time arrives he'll probably have to fill in an HSE risk assessment first.

Chippy said...

'Sex offenders could be forced to register their e-mail addresses and chatroom names, the government says.'

Has to be the funniest thing I've read this week. So, a paedophile who is planning on abusing a child might not be willing to be so criminal as to, let's say... open a new 'unregistered' Yahoo/Hotmail email account? Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

It's the martial rule aspect that worries me most.

Hopefully the monarchy would be able to step in and make sure that we do actually have another general election when it becomes due.

Unity said...

Not bad, DK... but you have missed a couple of important points.

1. Not all 'sex offenders' are paedophiles by a long, long way, so where does that leave someone who may be on the register (which can be for up to ten years and more) for something like a minor indecent assault on an adult, who's also a parent. Are they not allowed to check up on what their kids are doing on line for fear of getting the old standard issue through the door at 4:30am?

2. They talking about monitoring e-mail address AND user names - how many false positives do you think tracking user names with throw up?

What happens if a perv happens to have used the name 'Devil's Kitchen' or 'Unity' or 'Manic' or 'Guy Fawkes' or any other common user name in the course of their online perving, and those user names end up on this dumb ass fucking register?

Is it then going to be us getting a visit from mrplod@oldbill.gov.uk?

Anonymous said...

Pity Dr Reid, would you want his job?

More unworkable shit from un-working policy monkeys.

Notapaedophilehonest said...

These people are so fucking stupid, it's a wonder they remember to breathe every few seconds. Stupid, stupid, moronic cunts.

Ross said...

I think you miss one point.

Paedo-bloke Phil puts his hands up and confesses that he's been using the nickname DAZZA to pose as a 13 year old boy and solicit pictures of other footie-loving kids, like gullible Sean Apple, 12.

Two days later, Sean Apple's Dad, Darren, plays the interested parent who actually monitors what Sean does online. He gets Sean to show him what he gets up to online, and show's his dad the Scunthorpe United chat-room.

Go on, Dad, just pick a nickname in the box, Sean says. Two hours later, Darren 'Dazza' Apple is himself on the sex offenders register and his kids are in care.

Andrew Field said...

PC Plod: Wait a second, you, you ain't put an email address down.

generic nonce: oh. right. umm... ok.

scribbles something quickly and hands it over.

PC Plod: Thank you very mu... hang on a second.

generic nonce: What?

PC Plod: "SexxyGurl_13@hotmail.com"?

generic nonce, sheepishly: Uhh... yeah... it was a nickname at school.

PC Plod: Fair enough, son, on you go.

JuliaM said...

"it's the martial rule aspect that worries me most.

Hopefully the monarchy would be able to step in.."


Is this a joke..? Please tell me it's a joke!

Look, the monarchy can't 'step in' even if they wished to (which they probably don't)!

"Yes, it is entirely feasible to set up such a system. Whether it would work, given the feckless, useless nature of many public-sector workers"

....not to mention the Govt's dismal record on anything with a plug attached....

Anonymous said...

It's actually worse.

Okay, John Reid is an MP and a twat. But to someone a bit old and past it it's not obvious that this will fail totally.

But John Carr isn't. He's the big noise on "protecting the children" ; you look at everything safety on internet, he's there.

The fact that he supports this means he knows about as much as my Gran e.g. sod all.

No single human being who is past the "turning it on" stage thinks this will work.

james higham said...

Given that Dave has said ID cards are out, where does the UKIP stand on this?

haddock said...

The Dangers to Our Liberties : Gerard Batten MEP UKIP
Conference Speech 7th October 2006
"Then we have the proposed ID Card Bill. We are told that this is necessary to combat crime, terrorism and illegal immigration. But of course it won’t actually do any of those things.

The ID card itself is a red-herring; it is the National Identity Register behind it that is of real importance. This will require every one of the 48 million people over 16 to provide the most personal information about themselves for a computer database, and it criminalise them if they refuse."
I suspect he is against ID cards.

Surreptitious Evil said...

Please, please don't have an English parliament or anything similar (like a reasonable federal system).

At the moment the mendacious cunt spends most of his life 300+ miles south of me. A few more thousand would help (and we could easily arrange to for him to miss Ascension).

We exported him (and Anthony) - we don't want the fuckwits back.

Sorry and all that - it's what you get for being the local center of political (I was going to say power, but remembered Brussels) preening.

S-E

mr scruff said...

how about putting paedos up against a wall and shooting them?

and failing that, locking them up for the rest of their lives, rather than releasing them after 3 years - or losing track of them.

yeah - a fucktard of the highest order is our John Reid. rather than tackle the paedos, lets encroach on everyones civil liberties...

what a bunch of clueless fucking cunts.

Trixy said...

Wouldn't it just be so much easier if paedos registered on chatrooms and the like with names such as 'nonce' and 'perv'. It would save Mr Reid, or the next person to get the job when he fucks up just one too many times, to impose illiberal laws on internet use so much quicker and better.

Incidently Haddock, did you read the rest of the speech by Batten about how this government can suspend parliament on a whim / made up crisis like bird flu? I remember studying something quite similar in school...oh, yes, The Nazis did it after the Reichstag fire.

Kav said...

What I was trying to say myself, but phrased so much better. Excellent.

haddock said...

Hi Trixy, yes I read it.... I remember reading something that under our way of doing things the Upper House is the mechanism for disolving parliament before a required general election..... remove/emasculate the upper house and perpetual Labour becomes a posiblity.

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