Via Timmy, I find that Amanda Sandford, the leader of ASH, is a smug, patronising cunt.
He appears to blind a horse on stage, he is naked and he has to simulate losing his virginity. But what really ruffled feathers yesterday was that Daniel Radcliffe, the 17-year-old star of the Harry Potter films, will smoke on stage in his West End debut.
Photographs show the actor, with stubble and looking more Harry Enfield than Harry Potter, half-way through a cigarette in a scene from Equus, the celebrated Peter Shaffer play in which Radcliffe opens at the Gielgud Theatre on Tuesday.
As an aside, I have seen a couple of productions of Equus and it is, in your humble Devil's opinions, one of the most powerful plays ever written; I would urge you all to go and see it, if you have not. However, back to the point.
The image brought immediate condemnation.
Amanda Sandford, a spokesman for Ash, the anti-smoking organisation, said: "It is regrettable that he is smoking, whatever the circumstances. He is a role model for young people and if he decided to take up smoking in real life that would be of great concern.
Really, Amanda? Look, love, why don't you piss off and put the tea on, love? Because what fucking concern of yours is it what a private individual does in their private life, you interfering, old bag? If people are stupid enough to do something—whether that's smoking, drink, drugs, anorexia, bulimia, child-fucking or whining like a frustrated mother-hen—simply because a celebrity does it, then the weak-minded fucks deserve everything that they get, frankly.
Although, if one of my celebrity heroes started telling fucking jobsworth's like you to fuck off, then I might be tempted to idolise them a bit more...
"Even though it is an act, nicotine is highly addictive and he could find himself hooked."
Fuck off, you patronising, shit-stick. Don't you think that, just possibly, Daniel Radcliffe might have worked this out for himself? There's hardly a shortage of information, is there? What do you think he is: some kind of retard?
Besides, and here's the crucial bit, love: have you ever heard about herbal cigarettes? You know, ones that don't contain nicotine? Actors use them all the time. Indeed, in Ireland, for instance, you can only smoke on stage if you are using herbal cigarettes. Do you see?
Now, why don't you put on your sensible shoes, Amanda, and walk off the end of the pissing pier, you patronising, old harridan. Fuck you, fuck ASH and fuck your fucking face.
David Pugh, the producer of the revival, said: "If they are worried about smoking and not about the fact that he's simulating sex with a young girl on stage, it makes me think that they've got their priorities wrong.
Fuck me, I hadn't realised that sex with girls was a crime as well.
What a shitty, fucking country we live in, populated by killjoy, arsehole, in-it-for-the-money, self-important, self-appointed guardians of our moral well being, like Amanda "shit-stain" Sandford.
When I rule this country, after I have executed every senior civil servant, the fucking health-fascist lobby and pressure groups—like ASH and their ilk—will be next to climb the gallows, whilst a baying crowd smokes, fucks, drinks, takes drugs and cheers with every jerk of the noose. And I will personally blow smoke up Amanda's cunt as she twitches on the end of a rope.
But in the meantime, Equus really is worth seeing. Especially for the smoking. Oh, and the fucking...