Fish and chip shops are dangerous places for politicians, as Labour spin doctors know. Peter Mandelson’s image never recovered after he mistook the mushy peas for guacamole at his local chippie in Hartlepool; and in these health-conscious times, it wouldn’t do for an ambitious young cabinet minister to be seen tucking in to such fatty fare with too much alacrity.
So it’s a surprise to find David Miliband, the environment secretary, carefree when he arrives for the reopening of Colmans of South Shields, an award-winning fish and chip shop in his constituency.
Indeed Miliband is practically skipping with enthusiasm...
“The food here’s fantastic, and I’m having full lashings,”
A cross between Fotherington-Thomas and Billy Bunter - what a jolly little chap our Boy David is!
"Hullo clouds, hullo sky, hullo fish, hullo chips..."
Indeed, the whole thing is rather sickening. However, all this talk about healthy eating reminded me on something: a couple of weeks ago, I went for lunch at one of the House of Commons canteens. Would you al like to know what healthy options were on the menu?
Well, to be fair, there was a salad option but, not being a fucking rabbit, I wanted something hot and nourishing. Now, this being the House of Commons, I was expecting gourmet food, a feast of cordon bleu delicacies; alas, I was sorely disappointed.
The choice of hot meals consisted of
- battered cod and chips, or
- pizza and chips.
Now, that's what I call a "healthy eating" menu, eh? I don't even particularly like chips; I would have preferred some mashed potato or, actually, potato in almost any other form but it was not to be.
Once again, it's one law for the feckless, holier-than-thou cunt MPs and another law for us serfs...