One thing is certain: thousands, if not millions, of people in this country are being failed by our shitty education system. One of the main problems with state funded schools, in your humble Devil's opinion, is the lack of facilities; by "facilities" I mean the funding to allow students to do their own chemistry experiments, to explore art, particularly pottery and sculture, in any meaningful way, to create Design and Technology projects, to play team sports, to put on plays, to have their own books.
And a really good way of starting to sort out this situation, in the short term at least, would be for the fucking Local Education Authorities to stop taking a fucking third (in Scotland at least) of the fucking education budget to keep themselves in stationery and jobs. A fucking third! A cunting third of the Scottish Education budget never reaches the fucking schools! Think about that: doesn't it get you fucking raging? Don't you want to go and kill every last LEA employee and burn down the no-doubt plush sodding offices? I do. Oh, and a good way of getting those team sports—desperately important for so many obvious reasons—would be for selfish, greedy cunt councillors to stop selling off the fucking playing fields and actually getting people to play bastard, fucking sports in the afternoons rather than sending the little fuckers out of school at half-two in the afternoon so that they can go drink White Lightning and fuck in an alley until their parents get back from work.
Anything that isn't directly linked to the fucking joke known as the academic curriculum is denied to many; the opportunities that I had to explore and express my creativity are denied to thousands. Amongst other things, those who are not academically inclined are denied the chance to find something else that they are good at. This attitude—that some sodding piss GCSEs in fucking Spice Girl studies, or whatever, is the be all and end all of education—is leading directly to our shortage of practical tradesmen, such as the, sadly not, ubiquitous plumber. Furthermore, it stifles creative thinking with the result that the country that was once the creative powerhouse of the world is becoming a piss-poor backwater which is so fucking desperate that it even considers shackling itself to an obvious fucking piece-of-crap economic, administrative and cultural basketcase like the EU. The fucking piece of crap that this country's governments have called "education policy" has led directly to the decline of this once-almost-omnipotent union.
It must not—should not—be tolerated. The education policy pursued by so many governments, both Labour and [...] Tory, is not only failing this country economically, but it is also failing people: individuals about whom we profess to care. [You will have to imagine me shouting at the screen now.] FUCKING SORT IT OUT! PEOPLE, INDIVIDUALS ARE LIVING LIVES OF DESPAIR AND MISERY, LACKING HOPE, BECAUSE SOME CUNTS IN GOVERNMENT WILL NOT SORT OUT THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN THIS COUNTRY.
Given that the continuing failure of successive governments even to consider sensible ideas for improving education (even enabling people to read to karaoke standard would be a good fucking start) never fails to light the blue touch paper down in The Kitchen, it was perhaps not surprising that so many people should have emailed me when Haddock of Something Fishy published his Education Part One rant. And it is equally unsurprising that I should consider that it more than deserving of a Bloody Devil Award.
It has been a while, eh? The Bloody Devil Award for pulling apart objects of public derision whilst using unnecessary aggression and gratuitous swearing is back! Who will get it in the neck this time...?
Let's see why, eh?
The education system is run by fuckwits, at Government level, Local Authority level and at school level. Why is it that every fucking government since the sixties has decided to throw away years of tradition and experience and replace it with wishy-washy trendy 'initiatives' proposed by dopey Guardian reading twats who have but a tenuous grasp of reality.
Starting beautifully and continuing in a similar vein, Haddock skillfully and swearily filleted and mashed the shibboleths of modern day teaching.
Teachers are on a hiding to nothing. Legislation has now produced a generation of untouchables, immune to discipline; it the predictible result of the Anonymity for juveniles, the rise of chav culture, the anti-smacking anti shouting trendies.
Do go and read the whole hilarious article if you have not already; and then brace yourself, for Education Part Two is now out and it's every bit as coarse and spot-on as its predecessor. It's proper commentary opens with a line pinched from elsewhere.
To quote another blogger, sorry I cannot remember who but it has a hint of DK about it: "Like a blind lesbian in a fishmonger, it's difficult to know where to start."
That line was, of course, one of the poor, little Greek boy's genius phrases, levelled at the fools of the Scottish Executive.
But, let's press on with some more choice cuts from our Billingsgate afficionado!
As usual, the mass of ordinary normal kids in the middle will get fuck all; while people fall over themselves to help the divs, the disabled, the sporty types and the clever; your normal middle of the road, uncomplaining but hardworking kid will get by with fuck all help from the teacher, just as they do now. It used to make me mad as fuck that I seldom had time for them as my time was taken up by scrotes who should have been drowned perhaps at birth probably by the time they got their first sovereign ring and certainly before they get their first Burberry cap/child.
I learned writing using a little blackboard and chalk.... but I did have good teachers,,, and they did have a good system and they were allowed to get on and teach without interference from fucking mongs from Whitehall.
Go and read the whole thing; it is superbly ranty stuff. And as such, it really could not go unhonoured: so, to Haddock of Something Fishy, I present the Bloody Devil Award #12. Well done, sir!