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Showing posts from May, 2006

The Gobblin' King is still a power-crazed fuckwit

Gordon Brown: "The fact that his clock shows 13 hours on it is merely symptomatic of his economic fucking illiteracy. The dreadful, one-eyed cock..."

Many people who loathe Blair still think that The Gobblin' King is the saviour of the world, a financial wizard and architect of the greatest economic Golden Age that Britain has ever known. After I've viciously beaten these fuckers around the head—screaming "no, he's not! He is an incompetent cunt with one eye and a ludicrous oral twitch that makes me want to slice his lips off!"—I calm down slightly and, sitting serenely beside the deluded, bloody fool, I like to explain that their faith is misplaced.

I like to mention the stupidity of selling the Bank of England's gold at a near-record low price (a low which he, himself, helped to create), the fact that unemployment figures are on the rise (even with the government attempting to massage them), the record bankruptcies, the decrease in social mobility a…

Good news from Iraq

Right For Scotland produces a nice little summary of the US DoD report entitled Measuring Stability and Security in Iraq.
This increased political stability backed by a growing armed security force has resulted in a strengthened fiscal position. Currency is steady, the debt is decreasing and income from oil exports remains reliable although there are still major problems in electricity generation.

This report clearly paints a very positive picture of the country despite interference from British, Iranian and Syrian jihadists. With a stable, well trained Army and police force accountable to a nationally representative elected government backed by an increasingly stable economy, the report clearly indicates that Iraqi people, thanks to the American, British and Australian armed forces, can look forward to a prosperous future of self-determination.
Now, I know that all you Lefties are going to say how it is all lies, that they are just telling Bush what he wants to hear, that, in fact, mi…

Euston is a shitty place anyway

My eye was drawn to a post at Fisking Central about the Euston Manifesto. Yes, yes, I know, but bear with me as there are some points of amusement.
Matt and I have always wanted to sign the Euston Manifesto, but have been critical of certainareas where we weren’t entirely satisfied.
I can sympathise; as soon as I was born, the first coherent thought that entered my little round head was that I too must sign: it was my destiny.
[The audience] wanted specifics, plans and calls for action, as did we. This, unfortunately, caused some unease amongst the rest of the panel. Geras, to give one example, should have been able to speak for all when he said he opposed the extradition to torture, but did not feel entirely comfortable to do so.
After all, where will the Eustonites' gulags be built if they actively condemn torture, eh?
This is a shame - if the principles of the Manifesto are so self-evident why not be more definitive?
If the principles are "self-evident" then why do you need…
Just to make this entirely clear, I couldn't give a shit about the World Cup. I suppose that I'll be supporting England in as much as I'll support anyone, but I won't be going out of my way to be watching any of the games.

This has been a service announcement.
Via the guy that Laban Tall dubbed "probably the only man crosser than the Devil's Kitchen", this nauseating tale. I am going to stay very calm and just say the following: this shit should not happen in our country. Zena's family should have been arrested, tried, imprisoned and then deported. Oh, yes, and preferably publically flogged too.

But the worst bit of it is this:
Jack and Zena searched in vain for sanctuary. One by one the agencies that could — and should — have helped them let them down. The police, social security, victim support. The couple ran from Huddersfield to Cleethorpes to Grimsby to Lincoln to the Isle of Wight to Portsmouth and on.
It reads like a list of Britain's dingiest shitholes; all it's missing is Croydon. Imagine being on the run and always ending up in a town ever shittier than the one you just left; it's just adding insult to injury death threats really, isn't it...?

If... The BBC Discovers Economics...

Flicking through the channels to avoid doing any work this evening, I happened to catch part of the BBC's extremely stupid "docu-drama" called If... The Oil Runs Out. It was quite the silliest thing that I have ever seen and I watched the film of Charlie's Angels, so I know.
Combining expert interviews with a fictional story line, the drama-documentary examines how our lives will change as the price of fuel starts to spiral out of control.

We will not just be paying a lot more - £2.35 per litre or $5.88 per US gallon - to fill up our cars, we will be charged much higher prices for food, heating and light.
At one point, one of the "experts" said something along the lines of, "we won't be able to just turn up the thermostat: people will have to start wearing warm clothes indoors." Fuck me, what a fucking hardship! I spent the first two years in my flat without any central heating: do you know what I did? That's right, I put on warm clothes (…

Oh give it up, won't you?

Via Right For Scotland. Slightly alarmed at the way that the ungrateful citizenry appear to be turning upon their pet project, the corrupt bastards at the rotten head of the EU are desperately casting around for a lifeline, an income stream that will allow them to keep their sinecures even if every single country in the EU decides to leave (or cut their donations). As such, they have been desperately casting around for a way to make money without having to go cap in hand to the donor countries; they seemed to have decided that a direct tax on the people is the best way to achieve this. First they proposed an EU tax, and now they are trying something a little more subtle: a tax on information.
Consumers, businesses and even government departments could pay a special tax on emails and mobile phone text messages under a scheme floated by a centre-right French MEP to finance the EU.
Oh, of course; he would be a fucking little Frenchman, wouldn't he...
Alain Lamassoure, rapporteur of the …

New Statesman New Media Awards

Well done to all those nominated for The New Statesman New Media Awards; unfortunately, there seems to have been a mistake: The Devil's Kitchen is not nominated for one single award, an omission that I find personally shattering.

The categories—and how I should surely fit into them—are as follows:
Accessibility—I have made my site and its comment boxes available to all. I have discriminated against neither raspberries nor fruitloops as long as their comments are sensible, i.e. accord with my thinking.
Advocacy—well, I mean, this is surely one that I should win! I have advocated hangings, cancer, beatings, shootings, beheadings, more beatings and cancer (again) as suitable punishments for our NuLabour masters (and their mouthpieces). How much more advocacy do you want?
Contribution to civic society—I have surely contributed more than anyone else in the sheer volume of swearwords, cursing, sweeping generalisations and spitting rage (but only because I write more posts than Noreen and Ba…

Let's fund Polly through the arts budget!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our usual dose of you know who! Much, like a powerful medicine, she's bitter to the taste but, more like drinking drain-cleaner, she makes you feel worse rather than better: yes, please welcome, ladies and gentlemen, here, live, on Is she a liar or is she a moron?, it's.... Polly Toynbee!

On a more serious note, Polly is indeed here and all of our hope is gone; with this one, she has clearly defeated the Conservative campaign even before it has started. Cameron may as well give up now, frankly.
The arts of the state could yet prove a political weapon
Although not, presumably, as powerful as Gordon's weapon but—hist!—we shall save that for another time...
The Guardian Hay festival is in full, glorious swing. Arts festivals are sprouting and multiplying. Literary festivals are fast filling part of the nation's democratic deficit as the hot new debating arenas, politics-heavy and almost politician-free. (More people now take part i…
This fisking from Bookdrunk is just pure poetry...
Rebecca Front in The Guardian mounts a stellar defence of alternative remedies with an article sub-titled "Several doctors have criticised alternative therapies, but sometimes maybe they do work". Sometimes maybe? Wow.
Please, Rebecca, stop writing these articles: you are holding back the advance of the species.

Oh, I forgot to add - "Placebo effect, or not"? WTF? Because even though there's absolutely no evidence for "or not" journalists can still pick up a cheque by writing "science" articles about it? Is there anything else without any explanation beyond existing science that The Guardian would like to respectfully offer column space to? How's the man in the moon these days?
Wonderful! Go and read the whole thing...

Using tax to destroy undesirables

Also in The Times, Jamie Whyte lays, oh-so-gently, into that lunatic Zak Goldsmith, a man who—considering he attended my old alma mater—seems to display a staggering degree of stupidity and a stupendously stultifying ignorance of economics. Still, what do you expect from the multi-millionaire playboy editor of the tree-hugging hippy's favourite rag? Still, Mr Whyte's pertinent point for today is this:
[Goldsmith] wants to tax the over-consumption of energy in the hope that people will stop over-consuming energy. But even someone who knows nothing of tax theory will noticed one little snag. If this tax had its intended consequence, and people stopped over-consuming energy, they would also stop paying the tax. Then how would Goldsmith’s Tory government or Ming’s Liberals fund their billions of spending commitments?
This, of course, was always the flaw in the Edinburgh tram system. If the proposed Congestion Charge was brought in, the revenue was going to pay for the trams. Unfortu…

Smoking: post #1250

The Briff has a nice little article up at The Times today. Apparently, you can go to a site and pick from 42 disgusting images of what smoking will do to you, and the "best" 14 will soon be appearing a cigarette pack near you.
Some cynics might scoff that it’s a bit rich coming from a Government that is considering implementing “shooting galleries” where heroin addicts can shoot up at the taxpayers expense.
Yes, it is rather.
But that’s new Labour for you.
Ain't it just...
Clearly, the idea that we are all adults capable of making decisions for ourselves is one quite alien to the powers-that-be.
Well, yes, of course it is; we are merely the untermensch, the fucking proles who must be guided through life with every faltering step. Still, it might help if not quite so many members of the great British public behaved like total fucking morons 90% of the time.

It might also help if quite so many of them didn't seem more than happy for the government to lead them up the garden p…
Trolling through my archives (I'm using Blogrolls to assign categories), I came across this little post, from early July when I started blogging seriously, which I still think reads rather well.
In conclusion, although I have never been to Africa, many friends who have have spoken of the friendliness, energy and enthusiasm of many of its people. The real way to help Africa is to help the people to help themselves, and the most effective way to do that is to reform or remove the corrupt governments that are holding them back, to improve the security of property and life and the rule of law. It is not to increase aid, which merely helps to prop up the murderous—or simply incompetant—regimes which are holding the African peoples back.
Though I do seem to have avoided swearing a lot back then...

Why are we part of this again?

Via Mr FM, more idiocy from our EU partners.
French Agriculture Minister Dominique Bussereau has ruled out changes to the European Union's system of farm subsidies, saying he would prefer that the Doha trade talks fail instead.

"I would prefer that the negotiations fail rather than negotiations that would raise questions about the CAP (Common Agricultural Policy) and its future," he told reporters in Austria on Monday.
What a wonderful attitude from our EU partners; let's face it we could easily just distill this report into something like the following:
"Fuck developing countries. Fuck their economies. Fuck their people. We are going to protect our industries at the expense of everybody else, so fuck you."
Remind me, why are we in a partnership with these fuckers again? Come on now, all together...


I'm going to fucking bottle you, you fucks!

Via Mr Eugenides (whose entire piece is well worth reading), this latest piece of "policy" is really going to piss me right off.
The campaigns to combat the effects of ‘passive smoking’ are widely credited for Europe’s growing number of smoking bans. Now alcohol is in the sights of the public health lobbyists, and they have invented the concept of ‘passive drinking’ as their killer argument.
The public health lobbyists are all, to a sanctimonious man and interfering woman, a bunch of fuck-witted, facist cunt. Actually, I'm not sure that fascist is the right word: what to use instead? Authoritiarian? Dictatorial? Piece of shit nosy cunts with too much fucking time on their hands? Why don't they go and drink themselves to death and do us all a favour, eh?
I have seen a leaked draft report for the European Commission, which is due to be published some time in June. It makes claims about the high environmental or social toll of alcohol, the ‘harm done by someone else’s drin…

Being bolshy

Our esteemed, but oh-so-negative, anti-NuLanour media stooge, Doctor Crippen points me towards the massively entertaining strapline at Silent Running.
If you are offended by strong Right Wing views and bad language, you should probably fuck off now and go hug a tree.
I'm thinking of barstardising it. How about:
If you are offended by strong free-market, libertarian, anti-socialist views and some of the worst language that you have ever read, you should probably fuck off and drown yourself in a bucket of new low-fat soya milk*. Or get cancer. Whatever.
What do you think: not strong enough...?

Oh, and I like this picture too.

* I've just seen an advert for this stuff. Low-fat soya milk? What the fuck is that shit?

It's time to stop being civil

Now, as you know, ladies and gentlemen, few rival me in their hatred and rage at the incompetence of our fascist rulers; especially Charles Clarke, upon who I've wished cancer, shooting, hanging and beating.

But today, your humble Devil would like to turn a baleful eye upon those who totally get away with facilitating rape, murder, robbery with violence, corruption and larceny on a grand scale, ID theft, collusion with organised criminals, apathy, spinelessness, uselessness, naked greed, pillaging, waste, sleaze, lies, avarice, power-broking, the arming of dictators, fraud, fascism and misery.

Civil servants.

No matter how we lambast our government for these vices, let us never forget the pieces of shit who actually make it happen. Can anyone tell me: apart from Charles Clarke who, precisely, has lost their job over the shambles at the Home Office? Who has lost their job over the overpayment of £2.2 billion in tax credits for the last two years and the hounding for repayment of those…
The Vented Spleen points out that—by his own admission—John Reid has until Friday 1st September to sort the Home Office. If he hasn't, we get to kick shit out of him with steel toecaps and bits of 2 by 4.

I might have made up that last sentence.

I think that this record is scratched...

Neil Harding is incredibly worried by the idea of the Tories getting in after the next election. Yes, yes, nothing new under the sun, eh? This time he's turning his jaundiced and oh-so-precise eye on the NHS in particular, with nary a sweeping statement to be seen. OK, part of that sentence is a lie, I'll admit it.
So the Tories are ahead in the polls, but even more frightening is their lead on issues such as health, the environment and education. Issues they have no discernable policies on and an awful track record. This is a ridiculous situation. With David Cameron admitting he hasn't decided his policies, how the hell do the voters know what they are?
Oh, I don't know that their track record is that bad. Actually, they didn't do to badly in bringing down waiting times and, apparently, the internal market was such a good idea that—having dismantled it—NuLabour are now keenly setting it up again.
I suppose it is governments that lose elections, not oppositions that w…

Considered Comment

Good Lord! A good review at First Foot!
At first I was slightly put off by all the vernacularisms, and I labelled TDK as a bit of a thug, to be honest. A thug with his heart firmly in the right place, albeit. But reading through the whole blog, I very much like this man. Intelligence, wit, scathing contempt for socialism/Nu-Labour, and yes, a degree of self-deprecating humility too, in places. I would buy this f*****g c*** a pint!
Which leads me neatly into what I was originally going to say: I am aware that, for some, the swearing is a bit strong. I also know that many enjoy it. This blog is written very much in character—the character of someone who is really fucked off—and, as such, it allows me to let off steam. I also suspect that many of my readers come here because they enjoy the ranting and raving: it is, if you like, my selling point.

The Devil's Kitchen has featured in both The Guardian and The Telegraph, but each time featuring words written by somebody else. Alas, my swea…
John Gruber on Microsoft.
It seems almost beyond dispute that there’s a deep malaise surrounding Windows Vista, Microsoft’s biggest and most important upcoming product. Microsoft has been late with major new operating systems before — in fact, to my memory, major new versions of Windows have always arrived a year or two later than they were originally promised. The biggest problem with Vista isn’t that it’s late, but that people don’t really seem to care that it’s late, because there doesn’t seem to be much in Vista that Windows users are dying for.
Microsoft's problem is that it has no rivals: go read the whole thing.

Polly and Gordon go at it hammer and tongs

On a rather depressing, rainy Friday, there is a ray of light in my life: yes, there is another Polly Toynbee article to lay into. What fun! As a matter of fact, I now have her CiF page in my RSS Reader that I may not miss a single word of wisdom from the very best that The Grauniad has to offer (which I think shows what a total rag it is).

Yesterday, in response to the Doc (and not, I assure you, apropos of nothing, for that would lead to highly pertinent and, indeed, justified questions about my sanity)I speculated that Polly probably does not wear any knickers so that she may be ready and waiting should she ever manage to get The Gobblin' King alone; today's paeon to the Cyclopean bastard does nothing to dispel such speculation. I mean, look at the headline:
David is stealing Tony's clothes - and it's working. It's time for Gordon
Nothing would please me more, since The Grauniad's own poll shows less support for Gordo than for Toni. This is because, as I have s…