Monday, November 13, 2006

The Tories are a bunch of pussies

Annabelle Fuller: hot Toddy. Er, hot Toddy's owner, I mean... Well, the cat's got hair, right? It's got to be at least slightly warm...

Correctly surmising that I do not read the rag, a correspondant emails me an amusing article from The People.
12 November 2006
CAT KICKED OUT OF THE TORY PARTY
By Nigel Nelson

A CAT has been expelled from the Tory Party—after being a member for two years.

Black-haired moggie Todd was even eligible to vote for David Cameron during his successful leadership bid.

His owner Annabelle Fuller cheekily signed him up with Tory youth wing Conservative Future when she left the party to join the UK Independence Party.

Annabelle, 25, said: "I signed him up for £3 as Todd Fuller. Anyone can get into the modern Tory Party because they never check."

Todd got junior membership which gave him full voting rights, even in Mr Cameron's election.

But he was finally expelled when an ANONYMOUSE caller spilled the beans to his local branch in Surrey.

This is, of course, absolutely delightful but it gets better: apparently the, as I recall, rather attractive Annabelle Fuller—who is UKIP's London-based press officer—had originally signed the cat up to stand for Chairman of Conservative Future. The cat even got the requisite two signatures from Area Chairmen.

I'm afraid that I'm not sure if the cat won or not.

Anyway, Todd has, apparently, had letters from Lord Strathclyde asking him to be a member of a Tory donors' club and calls asking him to help canvass during the election. Consider me entertained, although I imagine that it could happen in most parties, to be honest. Certainly nobody from UKIP came around to check whether or not I was a quadruped when I joined them.

Given that it has run in The People, I suppose that we can now look forward to a rash of people amusingly registering their pets as party members. Perhaps a hyena will be registered with NuLabour under the hilarious monicker "Tony Blair"? And it's only a matter of time before someone registers their pet chameleon with the Tories isn't it?

I myself have already done a great big shit in a box and registered it with NuLabour, under the name of Mr G Brown Esq.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

A classic!

Anonymous said...

hong gong phooey