Thursday, November 16, 2006

Times Competition

A gentleman from The Times emails me to draw my attention to the lastest competition from Comment Central (why are they never offering me money to write a rant or two, eh?).
Here's the competition. I am looking for all contact - spotting in the street yesterday, autograph collected in your youth, meeting held with, picture taken with, gift received from, or whatever - with political figures.

Now famous is fine but semi-famous is even better, faintly ludicrous is best of all. Pictures are particularly welcome, especially if they show the semi-famous figure doing something prosaic. Bruce Babbitt shopping for a new television would be ideal.

Whilst Timmy has an impressive selection of meetings, mine are less impressive, mainly because over a decade of extremely heavy drink and drugs intake has buggered my memory. I have done a couple though.
  • Asked Mrs Thatcher a question about her view of society at a meeting at Eton,

  • Won the second Senior Art Prize at Eton: first Prize was won by Ed Heathcote-Amory, son of the Tory MP,

  • Been bought drinks by Howard Flight...

  • ... and Nigel Farage,

  • Slept with the daughter of a certain ex-Tory MP (the name of whom I would not be so ungallant as to reveal. Sorry).

  • Quite literally bumped into Private Eye editor, Ian Hislop, on Oxford Street.

  • MPs (or ex-Mps) that I have called a total cunt (or any number of variations thereof):
    • Charles Clarke

    • David Blunkett

    • Gordon Brown

    • Tony Blair

    • Margaret Beckett (wel, not yet, but it's coming soon)

    • Hazel Blears

    • Patsy Hewitt

    • Tessa Jowell

    • Margaret Hodge

    • Tony Benn

    • Roy Hattersley

    • Andy Burnham

    • David Cameron

    • William Hague

    • Ken Clarke

    • Michael Heseltine

    • Sion "soon to be playing 'Pin The Tail On The Donkey' permanently" Simon

    • Mark Oaten

    • A goodly number of others, and I don't see myself stopping any time soon

  • Got extremely drunk—repeatedly, over the course of three weeks—with The Commodore of Sudbury Quay, Pittancer of Selby Town and Freeman of the City of London (although he probably doesn't count as a politician as he got his awards through merit).

There, will that do? See some more at Comment Central.

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