Friday, November 17, 2006

Musing upon the Queen's Speech at the opening of Parliament, I think that I may have devised the perfect oratory.
My government will not be presenting one single, solitary Bill this year because everything is working very well. My government has not only realised that the government that governs least governs best, but also that making unworkable, knee-jerk policy in response to hysterical, ill-informed tabloid headlines is completely fucking stupid.

They have also realised the various pressure groups—such as Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth and other such things—are peopled by contemptable jobsworths who realise, just as well as the media and assorted venal scientists do, that their funding is dependent on there existing crisis that only these groups can "solve". My Ministers refuse to pander to their ignorant, bestial hysteria. This is the first speech that I have ever enjoyed giving: thanks be to the Devil.

One can dream...

4 comments:

fido said...

Well said, never happen alas but well said all the same.

Anonymous said...

I think you need some of the psychotropic pills that I get.

Anonymous said...

My government has also come to see that due to the thousands of laws it has propagated since 1997, the great many crimes it has created, the wanton destruction it has ignorantly wreaked upon the constitution and the ancient rights it neither recognises nor believes in anyway; and due to its own sheer efficacy in combating crime, creating jobs (or is that creating crime and combating jobs?), solving climate change, and generally looking after the "poor and needy"( copyright - The Labour Party), and also due to the magnificent number of deaths it has so civilly prevented taking place in Iraq - deep breath it no longer has anything to do and is hereby dissolving itself.

Come on Brenda, you can do it! Or rather, you could have done it, and you'd have made monarchists of us all.

Mr Eugenides said...

I'm mildly surprised there wasn't a Bill on Prime Ministerial immunity.