MSPs at Holyrood are being asked to donate a day's pay to families affected by the collapse of Christmas savings company Farepak.
Labour MSP Elaine Murray has submitted a motion to the Scottish Parliament to highlight the Farepak Response Fund.
Well, cheers, Elaine; that's really very generous of you.
She also criticised Halifax Bank of Scotland (HBOS), who some claim are behind the collapse, for contributing "a paltry" £2m to the fund.
Elaine, there's a couple of problems with this. The first is that £2million is a fuck sight more than you're going to give, isn't it? Even if you persuade all of our arsehole MSPs to donate some cash, you can bet that they will deduct their expenses first. And then they'll write it off against tax, I guarantee. After all, it's a charitable donation, eh?
The second problem, Elaine, is that £2 million is more than HBOS are obliged to give by a margin of... oh, about £2 million. What is it with this shit? Why's it attracting so many whining bastards? Personally, I'm with the superb PigDogFucker on this one.
Why the fuck would you decide to save with some rip-off catalogue that might steal your money, instead of using a savings account where you’re guaranteed both decent interest and deposit protection, getting the money out at Christmas, and buying your presents with it?
All the kids whose Christmas has “been ruined” (in the context of the British working class, this means “oh no, your present is only a DVD player not a PS3”) by the Farepak collapse should have this explained to them in detail:
“Your parents lost the money they were supposed to spend on your present because they’re utter fucktards. If you pay attention at school and don’t do equally gibberingly stupid stuff when you’re grown-up, you’ll be able to afford all the presents you want. Now shut up whining or we’ll belt you, you greedy little bastard.”
And while we are about it, what kind of moron would invest in a company that can't even spell the word "pack" properly, eh?