God, I'm so weary of this corruption

Look, I have to confide in my loyal readers: I'm pretty tired at the moment—it must be all these trip back and forth from the Big Smoke (and I'm back down again a week on Sunday). How else could it be that, despite finding yet more NuLabour corruption, I cannot work up enough real bile to give them a proper kicking for it? I think that it must be that nothing really surprises me about this bunch of corrupt bastards anymore.

This is a pity because, via Guido, your humble Devil finds that—not content with selling peerages* and proposing to rape the taxpayers to fund their piss-poor advertising campaigns (message to all the parties: you aren't convincing anyone) through state-funding of political parties—NuLabour has already been milking the taxpayers through their councillors' expenses.

Police have launched a new investigation into Labour sleaze after a whistleblower revealed the party is creaming off at least £2m a year of taxpayers' money directly into party coffers.

Tony Blair has ordered thousands of his local councillors to hand over hundreds of pounds each from their publicly-funded allowances to Labour slush funds for electioneering and party propaganda.
...

The multi-million pound funding scandal came to light after the former leader of Sunderland council resigned from the party in disgust earlier this week after refusing to pay £215 - a three per cent levy on his £7,106 councillor's allowance - to Labour bosses in Sunderland.

For fuck's sake, are NuLabour so devoid of support that they have constantly to obtain their money through fraud and deception? Or is it that these fuckers are so twisted that—like some punter who can only get it up when he pays for the sex—they are actually psychologically unable to feel any satisfaction at the money raised through honest donations and that they have to throw it away (that would explain some of their recent advertising campaigns)? Perhaps they only get a kick (or should that be "kickback") from funds raised through duplicity.

Labour officials in Westminster are demanding that councillors hand over 10 per cent of their allowances and those in Gateshead are demanding six per cent.

If all of Labour's 6,176 councillors were to give up just five per cent of their allowances, Labour could rake in £2.1m this year - handing the party a war chest of more than £6m in time for the next election, due in 2009.

The sum is likely to be even larger because in addition to the basic allowance, councillors who hold cabinet offices or chair committees are paid tens of thousands of pounds extra. Labour has demanded a slice of those payments too.

For fuck's sake, you mendacious cunts, that money is extorted from taxpayers—who have seen their average council tax double under you bastards (I bet that isn't in Gordo's inflation figures either)—to ensure that the fat-arse, corrupt councillors can do, or at least convincingly pretend to do, their jobs. It is not there to bail the Labour Party out of the financial fucking hole that they have got themselves in. Still, now we know why NuLabour decided to raise councillors' allowances so generously back in '98, eh?

I mean, what do you do with all the money, guys? May I, with all due respect (that is, absolutely none whatsoever) suggest that you piss off to the Sort-It site and stop indulging the Tosser Within?

And, while you're about it, why not do us a favour and stop indulging the tosser without as well (dropping Prescott down a deep well and encouraging the taxpayers of the country to urinate on him would be a really marvellous start. Just on case you were looking for any policy advice on that one).

And though I know that this isn't going to be the last time I say this—to either NuLabour or the bloody Tories—get your hands, sticky with Polly's flapsnot, off our money. You utter, utter sods.


* Allegedly.