Friday, October 27, 2006

I watched the tediously derivative Torchwood t'other day, and thought that it was a stinking load of old horseshit. But I suggest that you read Justin's nicely written dissection, which I almost totally agree with.

It's pretty spot on, apart from the fact that he does not emphasise enough quite how totally fucking annoying the female ex-policewoman—the one that Justin calls "the ‘emotional heart’ of the show"—is: I wanted to throw stuff at my expensive telly. I very nearly did. Fucking hell, she doesn't just get on my fucking tits, she climbs all over my nipples...

6 comments:

The Nameless One said...

I watched it and quite enjoyed it. But that could be because I was tremendously hungover and suffering from what felt like brain death after an accidental binge drinking session the evening before.

AntiCitizenOne said...

I'd just got Season 2 of Battlestar Galactica on DVD, switching on the TV to watch these DVDs I caught a few seconds of this series.

What a load of crap is the BBCs sci-fi output compared to BSG!

Also BSG was the show that showed the Internet is more powerful than TV is.

Evil of Dron said...

I can see it now, somewhere in the BBC a load of scented ex-rent boys stuff ..White Powder up their noses and say, "hey wouldn't it be cool to do a post-watershed Dr Who spin-off where the alien has sex and reduces the other participant to a pile of .. White Powder!" "Yeah, cool, and let's set it in Cardiff - that's really now, Cardiff" "Yeah, lets have some exploding wankers....." "Yeah, and they call out for Pizzas like regular people - sort of gives it some edgyness" "And let's have a feisty female, the kind Lembit Opik would shag, and get her to ask all the questions that help explain the plot"....

Schlock from the Glop Hopper from people who use too many drugs. And I fucking pay for it. I shall kidnap these people and, after explaing in detail, my plans for world domination, I shall devise a horrible death for them.

Dr John Crippen said...

I think you are right, DK... but I tell you this; compared to the new Robin Hood, Torchwood is Citizen Kane


John

The_'Real'_Batman said...

Memo to BBC:

Making stuff adult by adding lots of swearing and insinuations of homosexuality does not look cool, like your 12 year old series designers must have imagined.

It makes you look like prepubescent wankers high on their own self-ego, thinking swearing is cool, and this can come at the expense of plot

However I concur. It IS better than Robin Hood

Errol Flynn must be turning in his grave

Evil of Dron said...

Thank you boys for reminding me about Robin Hood, but saying Torchwood is better than Robin Hood is like saying eating your own sick is better than eating someone else's bogies. (I am applying a cultural paradigm of narrative as opposed to a pre-constructivist critical model that includes textual discourse as a whole, of course.)

I gather that at one point some local Neds, in whatever piddle-and-swill former Eastern European country it was filmed, nicked the master tapes of Robin Hood and demanded a ransom. Such a wasted opportunity. They could have fed the film back to them, frame by frame, cut it together and made an abstract masterpiece.

Its always the same: someone makes a "Dr Who" or a "Life on Mars" and all of a sudden anybody can do it.