A vicar has stepped down as a school governor after kissing a primary pupil on the cheek to congratulate her.
The Rev Alan Barrett, vicar of Tamworth, Staffordshire, kissed the girl in front of pupils and teachers because she had done well in maths.
A church spokesman said a police inquiry found no offence had taken place, but the vicar was told to have no contact with the school.
As The Englishman points out, there is something rather sinister in those who see "sex" in everything. On the old school rhyme principle of "he who smelt it, dealt it" I personally would look far more carefully at the person who complained about the incident.
He said he agreed with the Archdeacon of Lichfield, the Venerable Chris Liley, that "even giving a child a kiss of congratulations is inappropriate in this day and age".
A spokesman for the Diocese of Lichfield said an informal investigation conducted by the archdeacon found that formal disciplinary proceedings were not justified.
Well, how very gracious of them...
But the investigation did deem the vicar's behaviour as "inappropriate" and sought assurances from him that he would not do it again.
The diocesan spokesman said: "The conclusion that Mr Barrett had acted inappropriately is not a finding of guilt or negligence, but recognition that in today's climate, previously acceptable innocent behaviour is now subject to misunderstanding and suspicion.
"As the complaint and subsequent police investigation demonstrates, the simple act of a kiss on the cheek - a common greeting throughout the world - has potentially damaging consequences.
Potentially damaging consequences for the innocent, i.e. both Mr Brett and those who have lost his services.
This is unspeakable, seriously. As we withdraw physically from one another and see dangers and threats around every corner, so we become yet more obsessed with "sharing" guilt and grief in an increasingly embarrassing manner, whilst others value the lives of others as nothing more than a punchbag for the culmination of a drunken night on the piss.
We are becoming a nation paralysed by paranoia, seeing "paedo's" behind every door and, in the meantime, our social services turn a blind eye to little girls being beaten, tied up in baths, sexually assaulted and murdered by their own relatives. The moral degradation of our society is almost complete in some areas; to describe myself as disgusted by this prurient corruption of what, for want of a better word, I shall call the soul is not to go far enough.
Open up these people, and you will find nothing but an existential rot inside them, a fungus of evil and paranoia eating away their judgement and kindness. Personally, it makes me fucking sick.
UPDATE: I see that TinyJudas (now posting under his real name, below), has got there before me...