Monday, May 01, 2006

The Magic Wallet


A couple of days late, I notice this item from Justin over at Chicken Yoghurt, who artfully explains the difference between the way you and I spend money, and the way our lords and masters do it:

It’s like doing the weekly shop with only twenty quid in your pocket but being heedless of the price of the things you’re buying. A case of Stella Artois. Some fillet of beef from the butcher’s counter. A Simpsons DVD box set. You get to the till and of course you don’t have enough money. With a queue of people peering over your shoulder, one by one your little extravagances are knocked off your bill.

Not with this Government though. They hit the supermarket and go mental. Truffle oil. A whole tuna. A case of bourbon. Champagne. Cakes, loads of cakes. One of those stupid Terence Conran toasters. All seven Simpsons DVD box sets. They get to the till and on finding they don’t have enough money, instead of putting back what they can’t afford, they phone their mate. He’s put upon this mate, he works all hours and he’s knackered. But he never fails to turn up and empty his wallet. And he never complains. He’s never once said “no”.

You know who this doormat is? This self-loathing shade who’ll do anything he’s told? The little guy of the gang who's always pushed around? It’s you, you dickhead.

All together now: "I'm as mad as hell..."

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