Charles Clarke: doing wrong by fucking up

Charles Clarke, The Safety Elephant: to paraphrase Toad in the first X-Men movie, don't you people ever die? Look at him: bestial evil writ large upon a human face. How much longer can Dorian Gray's unfortunate doppelganger be suffered to live?

Via Backword Dave, it seems that the fat, jug-eared cunt is, once more, taking precisely the wrong type of action to attempt to contain the damage caused by his criminal policy over the released foreigners.

The home secretary, Charles Clarke, will today announce plans to toughen laws on deporting foreign prisoners.

Right, you stupid cunt, read my fucking lips, OK? Are you ready? Are your beady, piggy little eyes focused on my firm, manly lips? Now, Charles, stop drooling: you may well be a repressed homosexual who finds me devastatingly attractive, but you are shortly going to be spending an awful lot more time with your family, so now is not the time to come out of the closet. Are you ready to catch these pearls of wisdom?

You don't need repressive new laws, YOU JUST NEED TO FUCKING WELL ENFORCE THE ONES THAT WE'VE ALREADY GOT, YOU STUPID CUNT.

Did you get all of that? Now, I know that it is quite a difficult concept for you to get your head around, much like the concept of the Pope having to be a Catholic, but do you think that you could try? Just a wee bit?

The pressure on him increased further after yesterday's revelation that a suspect in the killing of the Bradford policewoman Sharon Beshenivsky was a Somalian national who had been considered for deportation several months before her murder in November.
...

Ms Beshenivsky's best friend, Sally Barandiaran, told the Daily Mail Mr Clarke should resign. "It is sickening to know that Sharon could be alive today if this man had been dealt with properly," she said.

"If Charles Clarke knew about this and was keeping quiet, he should hang his head in shame, do the decent thing and go."

Actually, Charlie, my portly chum, you should do the decent thing and put a shotgun* in your mouth and pull the trigger. And I imagine that your brains will form the shape of the NuLabour rose on the wall behind you, because you are Toni's man to the bitter end**, aren't you, you fuck. Although, personally, I favour you simply hanging yourself from the nearest lampost: I think that you will come to see the true meaning of community in Britain, as hundreds of people rush to give you a hand tying the noose and kicking the milk crates away...

Still, it's not entirely Charlie's fault (he should just carry the can).

In March, five men were charged over the killing, but Mustaf Jamma - a 25-year-old who was considered for deportation after being imprisoned over a string of robberies - remains at large.

Police believe he fled the country after the murder, and reports suggested he had served a three-year sentence for armed robbery and been granted indefinite leave to remain in the UK in 2000. The defence secretary, John Reid, today told GMTV Mr Jamma's deportation had been rejected because it would have been impossible to return him to Somalia, which is in a state of civil chaos.

"There was a threat that if [he] took a plane into the capital, Mogadishu, not only would he have been blown out of the air but the pilot of the plane would have been," he said. "So it was decided, on balance, they should not deport him in this case."

Weren't there any slaver ships going to Africa, or something? Or couldn't you just fly to a neighbouring country, and then drive to the border, and push the fucker into the gentle arms of his self-genocidal Somalian comrades?***

Apparently not.

Oh, Cha-aarles! I've got a piece of blue nylon rope here, just like the Iranians use for hanging their gays; I wouldn't want to put any ideas in your head, but we have found some milk crates too...


* Don't forget to get a license for it though.

** With apologies to Bill Hicks.

*** Somalia: what a total fuck-up that place is. Even when everybody had Empires, no one wanted to conquer Somalia. Because it's a shit-hole, populated by tribes that loathe each other and ruled by those with the biggest guns and largest supply of land-mines. The land that everyone tries to forget...