Can anyone you imagine how gutted I was to hear of Tessa's and Mr Mills' separation? I extend my deepest sympathy to the couple.
Aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha! No, I don't. Mainly because, much like many other people, the first thing that I thought was "nice PR stunt, people"! Does that make me a bad person, or just unduly cynical about our Lords and Masters?
Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell and husband David Mills are to separate, it has been revealed.
Mr Mills' lawyer said their marriage had been put under "strain" by the controversy over their finances.
Ms Jowell was recently cleared of breaching the ministers' code of conduct - because her husband did not tell her about a £344,000 gift.
As I wrote previously, is it conceivable that Tessa and her husband, in the words of that song, just don't talk anymore? Wouldn't it be a delicious irony if they had, in fact, been estranged all this time, but stayed together for the sake of Tessa's political career; for them now to have to separate because of that same career would, I think, have a certain amount of justice to it.
In a statement Mr Mills' solicitor, David Kirk, said Ms Jowell was angry and embarrassed by the bribery allegations.
Mr Kirk said: "This whole business has imposed a dreadful strain on my client and his marriage.
"He fully accepts responsibility for these pressures and for the situation into which he put his wife, who he knows is entirely blameless in all of this.
"He is as mortified as she has been angered by the embarrassment he has caused her.
Come now, David, don't be so hard on yourself. She has done a pretty good job of fucking the whole thing up herself, you know. Unless you forged her signature and opened all of her mail, intercepting any documents from the mortgage company, of course.
I rather like the picture of Mr Mills sneaking down early in the morning, leaving his wife cradling the empty space wherein his body lay, in order to pick up all of the envelopes from the "Welcome" mat (how could he know that, in a short while, he would no longer be welcome on that mat?).
Switch the scene to the kitchen (whilst upstairs Tessa wraps the duvet a little more tightly around herself, to compensate for the heat of her absent lover) and David, dressed in a blue silk dressing gown, furtively steams open the letters over the kettle, the switch of which is jammed to the "On" position.
A single, silent tear runs down his face as he searches ever more frantically through the official memos and social invitations (and upstairs Tessa's hand moves coquettishly, yet unconsciously, to cup her breast) and he mutters, "Forgive me, Tess my love, my darling, for you know not what I do..."
Of course, I speculate. All that can be known is that they are separating for a while.
"They hope that over time their relationship can be restored, but, given the current circumstances, they have agreed a period of separation."
Oh, it is just a PR stunt then...
From One Of The Three by James.
You were one, one of the three
I need proof before belief
Oh, well, I guess you’re not to blame for what they
Done in your name, in your name
Oh, well, it’s a shame you got so famous for a sacrifice
You sent forth your lamb to the slaughter